i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
