i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
