better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
