I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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