that's an acceptable place to lick
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
