no, he came in my armpit
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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