You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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