Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Randomize
