We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
