If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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