I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
