is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
