I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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