At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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