I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
