i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
