he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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