OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
