belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
