Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
