can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize