i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Panties = found
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