I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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