Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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