dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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