Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How does one acquire holy water?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
