I'm jealous of your bromance
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
