i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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