yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize
