so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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