My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
