How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
