operation harelip BJ is a go
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
