We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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