if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
