grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Oh god it's open bar.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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