MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
