Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
