im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
