you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
