I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize