Do you still have your period?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
