I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
