Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize