I'm gonna have a badass scar
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
