he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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