just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
