these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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