Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize