wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize