3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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