hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize