I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize