Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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