Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm at about main and main street
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
