you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
