So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
