She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
