No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
