if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just want nice things and good sex
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
