I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
