Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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