So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
