you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize