i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
