Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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