Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
